“Should I hate you because you're arrogant instead?”

New Resolution #35: Buy a GPS unit. Stop driving each other crazy.

New Resolution #34: Lifeguards should be driven to pay attention at all times while on duty. And tell your friends to take a swim.

New Resolution #33: [sigh] Can I get $78 on Pump 3? Yes, I have a rewards card.

New Resolution #32: “4 8 2… Uh … Man, I'm sorry. I don't ever call myself…”

New Resolution #31: Stop sniffing Super Glue, dummies!

New Resolution #30: Self-destruction: we're headed for self-destruction! Self-destruction!

New Resolution #28: Stop, look and listen; then do something about what you've heard!

New Resolution #27: Accept the fact, life keeps rolling - literally.

New Resolution #26: Talk the talk, walk the walk, and bring everybody with you.

New Resolution #25: Be thankful you got something, smile and pretend to like it.

New Resolution #24: Be nice, not naughty.

New Resolution #23: … thank you for this food; Amen. Hey! That last turkey leg WAS MINE!

New Resolution #22: Wait for it …Wait for it …

New Resolution #21: Try raspberry Pixie Stix, and stay away from nose candy.

New Resolution #19: Get to know your family, and learn some personal history.

New Resolution #19: Don't try to be perfect. Don't frown on people who aren't.

New Resolution #18: Remember to grab a snack when at Speedway. Don't forget they sell Tums too.

New Resolution #17: Take your butt to bed at a decent hour!

New Resolution #16: Take action on a ball court; eat something healthy afterwards!

New Resolution #15: Call your friend with the nice car and suggest riding around.

New Resolution #14: Take care of home first.

New Resolution #13: Make children earn their independence.

I'm the owner of The New Citizens Press newspaper, it's a multicultural bi-weekly newspaper with a readership of 40,000 and subscriptions in 9 states.  We deliver in E. Lansing, Lansing, Holt and Okemos.  We also deliver to all Michigan Civil Rights buildings in the state and the City of Jackson.  Some of you I know and most of you I don't.

New Resolution #12: You can't cut my hair.

New Resolution #11: Teach kids to play card games like I Declare War; Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh are just bozos.

New Resolution #10: Keep your personal reality private and watch some Pee-Wee's Playhouse!

New Resolution #5: Don't put away your winter gear just yet.

New Resolution #9: At 11, watch Sportscenter or The Fresh Prince instead.

"New Resolution #8": Make sure your paycheck has sequels so you can afford to see all these movies!

New Resolution #7: See New Resolution #5

New Resolution #6: GIMMIE A BOX OF COOKIES … NOW!

New Resolution #4: Less is more, get in and get out!